Beginning of Essay
rastinator's Way With immaculate planning, reserve an entire afternoon for the greatest composition you will ever write. Neatly arrange all of your reference materials, and be proud of your superior organisational abilities. Put paper in your printer, all ready f ....

Middle of Essay
.... over every e-mail you have ever gotten; maybe someone mentioned writing a paper just like yours, which would help immeasurably. Use the "word count" feature on Microsoft Word. Obsessively. Claim it's wrong, and count all the words manually to check this. Blame your lack of progress on an old junior high school English teacher, who never did teach you how to write properly. Compose a letter telling the teacher just what you think of this unfortunate situation. Compose another letter to the school board, urging them to fire this sorry excuse for an educator. Look through your old high school yearbook. Wonder what all those people are d ....